my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
