we have officially mastered the walk of shame
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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