I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
