i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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