I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
and you fell through a lawn chair
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
