he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
