She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
