I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
