If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
