Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
