Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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