In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i think im in europe. pls send help
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
