false alarm. still invincible.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
