Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
