hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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