last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
