i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
