Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
