I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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