I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize