Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
