his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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