sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
