It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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