Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Shame - the story of my life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
