are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
