PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
