who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
His nipple licking is glorious
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