Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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