You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
