You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize