Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
not ubering you a puppy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
