I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
