We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
