why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
