honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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