I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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