I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
