NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
