I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
