We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
