I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
