Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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