No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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