when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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