he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
