Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
