Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
