Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So many bounce houses so little time
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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