I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
