I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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