it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize