Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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