Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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