I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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