I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She needs sedatives and a leash
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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