Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
