so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
