Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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