good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You have to summon your inner elephant
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
