And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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