who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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