How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
