i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize