Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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