really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
