HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
