whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
