physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
