Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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