wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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