Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize