i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
