Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
