I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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