these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize