I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
