hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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