Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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