god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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