1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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