did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
